i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
