I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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