think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
