Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
