what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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