I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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