Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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