im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
