Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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