She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
