I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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