We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Blood and glitter go together right?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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