Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
