I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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