Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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