We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
