sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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