Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
