I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize