Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
