She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize