she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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