just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
