Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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