Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You were trust falling into bushes
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
