Hey man sorry I got all grabby
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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