sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
