I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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