I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
im on a boat
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