i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Houston, we have a squirter
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
