Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
