you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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