hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
