they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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