Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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