Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
