Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
