I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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