Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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