While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
