five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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