im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
