The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize