just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
