he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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