I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
