I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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