pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
