): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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