I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
