Are we in a gay sports bar?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
