Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
