I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize