We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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