their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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