Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
