Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
