i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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