that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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