She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
