i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
